You Can’t Be Present When You’re Worried About Presents

It’s the same thing every year. You tell yourself that you will be more “intentional”, that this year we will all focus on the “reason for the season.”

More intentional with time, with money, with your loved ones. Then as the end of November nears, thoughts of wish lists and wrapping starts to creep in.

And you start to realize that You Can’t Be Present When You’re Worried About Presents.

Do Presents Equal Present?

Ask yourself — among the rushing, the planning, the ding of another holiday sale in your inbox — do you feel joy? have peace in your heart?

Is it possible to be present when you are worrying about presents?

Before we go any further, I am not suggesting that we all form a personal vendetta against consumerism. You can if you want, but that’s not what I am going for here.

I want to explore the balance between the anxiety and chaos of the holiday season, and well-managed gift giving that can be a delight for everyone.

Going To Extremes

When gift giving is taken to extremes, it can be distracting and wreak havoc on your cozy home. Honestly, that means going to extremes in either direction.

Throwing caution to the wind and racking up debt is just as problematic as agonizing over the perfect number of gifts to get each child so everything is perfectly even.

Is it good to be fair? Of course. We have all experienced what happens when someone gets 2 toys and someone else gets 3. But it’s the agonizing part we need to be careful of.

It’s the stress and the worry that ruins the season. It’s also what can turn a lovely aspect of the holiday into an idol.

When are focus is on what we are giving or receiving, that doesn’t leave a lot of room for the joy of the season.

So no… fighting with strangers on Black Friday, stressing over the perfect gift, or maxing out every card you have on the latest trends does not equal cozy. For anyone.

Maybe you’re saying, “Wow Christen that all sounds terrible, but that’s not me. I just can’t relate.” Maybe you’re right. Or just maybe you feel stressed and overwhelmed each holiday season and you wish you didn’t.

If this sounds like you (even just a little bit) let’s explore why we feel this way and what we can do about it.

Slow Down and Evaluate

Okay so we all know we can be more present in our lives in general. Where do we begin? Let’s start by identifying the areas that keep us from being intentional.

Which aspects seem to take a large chunk of time? Decorating, envy-scrolling other peoples decor on IG or TikTok (guilty!), planning gifts for everyone you know, or a million other holiday tasks we pile on? Some are necessary, others maybe not.

Timeless Decor Over Trends

Decorating is a cherished part of the season. It’s part of what makes a home feel festive. But if, like me, you are prone to scrolling Pinterest for decor inspo and you get easily pulled into trends (again me) then decorating can turn into a huge time zapper.

It’s the little bits of time that add up without us realizing it which is why scrolling of any kind, especially in excess, can be a problem.

Try to focus on what you already have but add a new piece or two every year. Christmas is also about nostalgia, and trends don’t provide that. (Trust me, I’m yelling that at myself!)

Gifting With Less Stress

Gift giving quite possibly consumes the largest portion of your time at Christmas. And no, I’m never going to suggest you become a minimalist (not me, no) and give each person one gift without exception.

What I will suggest is coming up with a plan for gift shopping. Make a list of who you need to buy for. Have they told you anything they want or given you any ideas? Great, figure out how many gifts for each person.

This is down right necessary if you have children. I have 3 and I can only imagine what Christmas morning would devolve into if the present ratio was off. 😂 With your immediate family you can develop a strategy for gift giving that you can use year after year.

Maybe it’s something you read, something you wear, something fun. Or something the reflects your faith or values. Maybe something educational, or an experience (like a pass to the zoo or a special trip.)

This gives you a clearer focus so hopefully you aren’t stressed out and running to every store in your region two days before the holiday.

Create Traditions

One of our family’s favorite things about the Christmas season are the traditions we have created over the years.

If you don’t have any traditions from when you were young (like me) then you get to create your own. When you repeat it the next year, it becomes tradition.

For example, every year we kick off the season by going to a lights display. For 9 years we went to the exact same lights display. It was one of the things our children got most excited for once fall arrived.

When we moved last year that tradition had to be adjusted. We found a new lights display to go to, and it was a pretty good one. Was it just as awesome as our favorite place? No not quite, but when we try to create our own amazing time where ever we go, it makes any experience awesome.

We have three family traditions for our Christmas celebration each year. Sometimes I will add new things in, sometimes not. The key is to make things fun and memorable not stressful.

Definitely do not try to pile on too many things. You are only limited to your own imagination (and budget) in creating these activities.

Our three favorite Christmas traditions are: gathering snacks and cocoa to go drive through a lights display in our PJ’s while listening to holiday music, gingerbread house making (I believe more candy eating takes place than building,) and our Christmas Eve movie with popcorn and grape juice. Every year we watch The Sound of Music (I know, not a Christmas movie) and when it ends the kids know it’s time for bed so Mom and Dad can wrap presents.

It’s Not Selfish to Create Moments for You

In all of the hustle and bustle of this season, burnout and overwhelm is so real. I’m never going to be someone who points at one person in a marriage as the “one doing all of the work.”

The reality is, stay at home moms get stressed out too. Let’s face it, if you are a stay-at-home mom (like me) you have all of the normal task complete in addition to creating a cozy home and special moments for the holidays.

We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and trying to fit it all in can make you want to pull your hair out.

Take moments to make things special for you too. Make that fancy coffee to get you through folding the mountains of laundry while soft music plays in the background. Turn on a crackling fireplace video on YouTube while you vacuum the living room.

Listen to your favorite podcast (see above for ideas) while you clean the kitchen. My favorite? Take that fancy coffee that’s probably cold by now, sit down in your cozy chair, and let the kids decorate the Christmas tree while you breathe and cherish the looks of excitement on their faces.

This season is for you too mama. It’s for you too.

Make It Special

Regardless of what traditions you create or how many you start over the years, the keys are to make it fun and make it repeatable.

A tradition is an event that spans generations and is passed down as a type of family culture. It helps to tell your story and build core memories for you and your family.

Keep things simple, stress-free, and enjoyable. The best part is, even when the holidays stress you out, and they will, you have special moments to look forward to. Merry Christmas friend. Enjoy your family and this holiday season!

one last thing…

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